Out For A Drive, Sunday Style (Page 1 of 1)

September 17, 2008
By: Ben White

Jump in the car, follow me. Forget the deep-pocket gas prices for a minute; fill up the tank and toss a cooler in the back — we’ll be gone all day…

Load up the dog — not the metabolic tornado puppy, the calm one — the one who rides with his head in the breeze, his tongue rippling like a sheet on the line.

Got your iPod? Some Wilco, maybe The Jayhawks… “Pretty little hairdo, don’t do what it used to, can’t disguise the livin’, all the miles that you’ve been through.”

Crank open the window, hang your elbow outside, slip a ball cap on backwards and point the front end down 411 South.

Ease up on the gas now — we’re slow-tooling today, grandma driving, to hell with the tailgaters and the lead feet.

We’re looking for the autumn leaf change, the creeping chlorophyll curl from green to brown. We’re looking for a midday cool wind with the sun on our face, a stream too cold to jump in, a pull-off vantage point that overlooks the crinkling mountain-stretch in a line like forever, a gas station burger in the back hills...

A man could use long sleeves on a day like this.

Pay attention, don’t miss the turn at Sloan’s (just past the block-house bones of Sammyo’s, Vonore’s infamous hard-knuckle bar, closed down after too many knife fights, too many broken noses, too many divorce seeds planted), a left off the highway onto 360 South.

There we go, slow ’er down some more, cross Snyder’s bridge and look out over the lake to the point where Fort Loudoun used to be. Hand-visor the sun from your eyes and imagine the days of horse travel, of musket and cannon ball booms, when the West was Kentucky and the soldiers wore red coats…

And now, on the right, we’re passing the birthplace museum of Sequoyah, the Cherokee genius who invented an alphabet.

That’s the speed we want to channel — the slow-moving history perspective, the turtle pace recognition that it’s all been done before so there’s no need to race: Today we’re deep-breathing and keeping the gears low.

We’ve left the fast food joints and the neon strip malls behind and the road starts to act like an “S.” Look ahead, the mountain ridgeline is coming into view in the distance…

Have you noticed the yellowing houses? The skeletal barns? The old cars going over to rust? We’re in the country now: The lake out here still belongs to the catfish and the passing pick-up trucks still make trips to the dump.

Through the curves, over the hills…

Here we go, 360 South turns right and splits the lake — be mindful, though, the street sign’s gone (probably hanging in some teenager’s bedroom), but there’s a stand of church signs pointing the way: Just follow the arrow toward “God’s Mountain.”

It’s pretty by the lake with the ridgeline getting close.

We’re hitting the cold spots in the shade now, leaving behind the flatland summertime heat.

Sit back a little bit, steer with your wrist, turn the stereo up some: “My harp is tuned to the mourning wind, my flute to the voice that weeps within…”

The road’s splitting the wilderness like a seam here. (Look at that real estate sign: “Restricted Lots for Sale.” Restricted? Who would move out here to follow neighborhood rules?)

Over the road rising and back down, raise two fingers for the oncoming traffic salute…

And there’s the little white-block Shell station I’ve been looking for: the best burger in Tellico.

Don’t eat it here, though — tempting as it is, greasy and cheese-leaking in the wax paper — toss it in the floorboard and hook a left on 165 East: The Cherohala Skyway. Let’s get up to 5,000 feet and pull off and sit on the tailgate and gaze at the mountain ripples of North Carolina — trust me, it’ll taste better up there.

Now we’re into the Cherokee National Forest and it’s time to turn off the radio and listen to the wind.
Slow tooling… Easy in the curves, nobody in the rearview…

See the turnoff for Indian Boundary Campground, FS 345? We’ll come back soon enough: That’s our way home; but for now, let’s climb up to Hooper Bald and have our dinner.

Gear down, watch the elevation signs climb: 3,000… 4,000,… 5,000. This is the longest stretch of road above 4,000 feet east of the Rockies, and it’s hardly a quarter-tank from the driveway.

It’s getting cold up here and the sky’s turning the color of spent charcoal (only an hour behind us the valley heat sits like a waiting guest on our front porches).

Here we are, Hooper Bald, an early 1900s game reserve, infamous for being the Appalachian gateway to the Russian hog.

Let’s stretch our legs, eat our burgers, let the dog pee on a tree…

Remember that cooler I mentioned? Knock off the lid and grab a drink: I bought an entire bag of ice for one glass bottle Mexican Coke.

It’s too cold to hang around up here for long, though — let’s drop off the ridge with the falling sun, back down to FS 345 for a slow-roll loop around Indian Boundary Campground.

You smell that? Campfires and dinner grills. And that sound? The children yelling and laughing… And look there, in the water, the golden sunlight blaze and a few brave cold-water swimmers… It’s summer’s last breath right here, these chasing kids and hotdog dinners, these three-log fires and table-cloth card games.

Our last turn out of the campground exit, left on FS 35-1. I like that roadside sign there: “Pavement Ends.”

Don’t worry, this’ll spit us out back on Highway 360 homebound, but only after we gravel-crunch crawl alongside the whitewater Citico Creek for an hour, dodging potholes with a tail of dust behind us and the rising gas prices too far ahead to fret over.

(42) Comments

Posted By: The Nine and a Quarter on 9/17/08 at 9:09 p.m.

When dogs laugh, some say they're barking, I don't think they're mean.

Posted By: Tuko on 9/20/08 at 7:01 a.m.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQyClNEfncg

Posted By: the one on 9/21/08 at 7:45 a.m.

Tuko... who are the vapors and what do they have to do with this article! leave and never come back.

Posted By: 1.5 on 9/21/08 at 4:30 p.m.

Brilliant! My favorite yet!
Ah.... teenagers. That part cracked me up. As did the MTP!

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Posted By: not the 1 on 9/25/08 at 10:28 a.m.

Uh oh, the comment sheriff is watching.

Posted By: the one on 9/25/08 at 10:54 a.m.

DONT EVEN START! EVERYONE KNOWS I WAS HERE FIRST AND AM THE ONLY REASON ANYONE READS THIS COLUMN!

Posted By: Truth on 9/25/08 at 4:12 p.m.

Whoa, "the one". You may be the reason any of Ben's students (or at least "the one point five") read this, but Knoxville Voice isn't just distributed to you and you alone. Ben writes his columns for the readers of the Knoxville Voice, not for your and his student's amusement.

Posted By: not the one on 9/25/08 at 6:44 p.m.

ha ha just kidding

Posted By: the (real) one! on 9/27/08 at 9:47 a.m.

heyyy! that wasnt me who said that! even tho i was the one who started it all...

Posted By: the one on 9/27/08 at 9:49 a.m.

i know who did this... it was either lindy or 1.5. not very nice

Posted By: 1.5 on 9/28/08 at 5:44 p.m.

Truth, you're wrong. One, you're also wrong. Me and C discovered it and we told you about it.

Posted By: the one on 9/29/08 at 6:51 p.m.

I DIDNT WRITE THAT ONE! the one in all caps i mean... at 1054 on 9/25

Posted By: the writer on 9/30/08 at 6:28 p.m.

stop impersonating my three.5 faithful readers, dangit!

Posted By: hamburglar on 9/30/08 at 7:25 p.m.

the identity theif strikes again!!!! MWUAHAHAHA.... Have you heard? The mcrib is back for a limited time only! Grab one now at your local Mickey Dees.(only at participating chains)

Posted By: the one on 9/30/08 at 7:31 p.m.

if my calculations are correct, 1+1.5= 2.5. not 3.5. and i swear! it wasnt me who put that one in all caps! must have been the hamburglar after all.

Posted By: 1.5 on 9/30/08 at 9:08 p.m.

Okay. Either OM or 9.25 is Truth. I'm not anyone but the 1.5. Lindy might be the fake one... Hm.

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Posted By: Oh Mary on 10/1/08 at 6:34 p.m.

Sweet christmas!! 1.5, you and I have already had a conversation about the fact that the only reason I'd post under an pseudonym would be to post something largely inconsequential. Plus, although BW's comment base mainly consists of you, the one, lindy, 9.25, myself, and a few others, his reader base consists of far more. So "Truth" isn't limited to being 9.25 and myself.

Geez...we sure put the "comment" in "commentary" this time.

Posted By: the one on 10/1/08 at 8:01 p.m.

ya know, i dont think lindy knows about his commentary thing... she hasnt left comments on any of these

Posted By: Mrs. Frenchie LeBeau on 10/2/08 at 9:10 a.m.

you had me at "pretty little hairdo". this article sucked me in.....i was totally there. now i am ready for camping next weekend!!! being a ky girl at heart...i totally felt that ride!

Posted By: jonn2 on 10/2/08 at 2:23 p.m.

Posted By: Random Philosophy on 10/8/08 at 3:27 p.m.

Chase the rising sun,
up into the mountain,
take some time just to breath and listen...
hear the sweet pant
of your faitful dog,
who sniffs the hamburger bag,
as if it were a sweet candy,
just made in the small little white building.
Follow the winding path,
up the steep, steep mountain,
then stop your metal beast,
to eat your prize.
look at the setting sun,
then chase it back down.
down the mountain,
out of the woods,
past the pavement,
on our way home...
and on our way back to the place we call reality.

Posted By: 1.5 on 10/8/08 at 9:27 p.m.

How come you does post comments so deep, Lizardly one?

Posted By: the one on 10/9/08 at 3:35 p.m.

omg!!! is random philosophy liz newsom?

Posted By: 1.5 on 10/11/08 at 10:45 p.m.

One, seriously, what is up with you MAKING UP ALL THESE NAMES FOR PEOPLE WE ACTUALLY KNOW FOR THE WORLD TO SEE? Seriously, that might not be a good idea.

Posted By: the on on 10/13/08 at 5 p.m.

so it is her... thats all the proof i needed

Posted By: the one on 10/13/08 at 5 p.m.

so it is her... thats all the proof i needed

Posted By: Random Philosophy on 10/13/08 at 8:45 p.m.

Who's liz?

Posted By: Random Philosophy on 10/13/08 at 8:47 p.m.

Just kidding. Yep... I think I'm safe saying that since you can't find me on google. Just don't go telling anyone, especially Edit. yah... might be a good idea to delete my name post. You picked that out just from a poem I did on an exercise? Nice. Very nice

Posted By: the one on 10/14/08 at 5:51 p.m.

so do you know who i am? now that i know you...

Posted By: Random Philosophy on 10/14/08 at 9:13 p.m.

From the beginning LS

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